Hell House: "Saved by the Sex and the Gore"

Last week, I opined that “The Music of Erich Zann” was setting porn. Obviously, “Hell House” comes a lot closer to being actual porn. Lest you think my delicate sensibilities were offended by this, let me assure you that wasn’t the case at all. No, I think it’s safe to say “Hell House” was saved by the sex and the gore.

In all other aspects, however, I found this work lacking. Simply put, it lacked a clear plot peopled by likeable, realistic characters.

Okay, so we’ve got this wealthy, old guy – Rolf Deutsch – who wants proof that paranormal phenomenon either do or do not exist, so he buys a huge, creepy house with a sordid history and sends our heroes to investigate whether it’s haunted. Of course, he’s got no connection to the Belasco family, and we never learn what prompts his interest in the supernatural, but I guess we needed somebody to fund this venture? Other than that, there’s no real justification for his character to exist.

Next, there’s our seeming protagonist, Lionel Barrett. He doesn’t believe in ghosts and ghouls but – just in case – he’s spent much of his adult life building what amounts to a ghost-busting machine. His wife, Edith, doesn’t seem to really comprehend what her husband does but must admire him for it. Otherwise, there doesn’t seem to be much rationale behind her having married him: he’s much older than her and he’s impotent, therefore he must be either rich or a genius. I have to guess this, however, because Matheson certainly doesn’t tell us.

Then we’ve got Florence Tanner, the “super-emotive Spiritualist medium." If you ask me, this woman’s got an obvious hard on for Jesus, which in my view contradicts everything else about her character. Still, she’s not too busy with Jesus to somehow seem to will herself to become possessed by demons. Did I mention she was hot and has lesbian tendencies? Thank goodness, otherwise I’d have found her entirely unlikable. Her close encounter with Edith when she’s being frisked prior to her “sitting” was about the most titillating part of that scene.

Finally, there’s Benjamin Franklin Fischer who, much like his namesake, used to conduct electricity in his capacity as a medium. Clever pun at least, Mr. Matheson. He’s along for the ride because he’s the lone survivor of an earlier incident at the Belasco house AKA Hell House, and – if you ask me – because we needed a virile man for Edith to attempt to seduce when the house turned her into a rabid slut. Oh, and he appears to be interested in Florence. Too bad she gets possessed by demons and dies; he might have asked her out if she’d survived. Anyway, his character later saves the day in a confusing showdown with Belasco.

Meanwhile, Belasco, our villain, wrecks all this havoc all because he was short and a bastard? I’m sorry, but it just didn’t add up for me. I wanted something horrifying to have happened to him to justify his turning into a sex crazed cannibal.

In conclusion, had this novel NOT contained scenes of extreme violence and hyper-sexuality, and had I not been required to read it for this course? I’d have thrown it down midway in disgust.